I bet there are a lot of things you don’t want your children to do. Did you know telling and showing them what to do instead of what not to do ALWAYS works better? As parents and teachers we need to model the behaviors we want to see in children. Don’t want your child standing on a chair? Don’t stand on chairs yourself. Don’t want your child to scream? Quietly say “You’re hurting my ears. Inside voices please.” Like what your child is doing? Acknowledge and describe what you like. Here are more examples.
|Don’t Say:||Say or Model This:||Acknowledge & Describe|
||Thank you for using your soft inside voice.|
||Thank you for listening to my words & playing safely with your feet on the ground.|
|Don’t Throw your TOYS!||
||Thank you for playing so nicely with your toys on the carpet.|
|Stop playing with your food!||
||Look how nicely you can sit & eat your food! Thank you.|
|Look WHAT YOU DID! You ruined the wall!||
||Thank you for using the paper & making me a beautiful picture I can hang up!|
|Don’t play in the sink.||
||I had so much fun playing outside in the sprinklers with you!|
|Stop standing on the chair!||
||Thank you for sitting so nicely in the chair.|
|Stop your whining!||
||Thank you for using nice words to tell me what you want. |
It is so much easier to help you when I can understand you. Thank you for using your inside voice.
|Hands off! Don’t Touch!||
||I’m glading your looking with your eyes and not your hands. |
I appreciate the way you kept your hands to yourself in there.
||I like it when you walk inside instead of running. |
It’s nice when we hold hands.
When we model what we want and tell children what we want, we’ll get the results we want. When we acknowledge and describe what children are doing right and minimize telling children what they are doing wrong, they get the positive attention they want and will repeat the desired behaviors.